Meet You There
by RegretfulDragon
Summary: Sequel to Because of You. All Prowl wants is to see him again. Will his friends let him go? WARNINGS: attempted suicide, mentions of past character death, mentions of past slash
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I decided to split this into two chapters rather than making one big, long one-shot. This is a little darker than the other two, and I do happen to know just how sensitive such a topic can be. I really wish I'd known her better, but there isn't much I can do about it now. Oh, well. Enjoy. Review please, no flames cause I'll verbally punch you in the face.

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****Title: **Meet You There

**Characters: **Jazz, Ratchet, Prowl

**Summary: **(sequel to Because Of You) All Prowl wants is to see him again. Will his friends let him go?

**Warnings: **attempted suicide, mentions of past character death, mentions of past slash

_0000_

_You're gone away  
I'm left alone  
A part of me is gone  
And I'm not moving on  
So wait for me  
I know the day will come_

_I'll meet you there_  
_No matter where life takes me to_  
_I'll meet you there_  
_And even if I need you here_  
_I'll meet you there_  
Meet You There--Simple Plan

_0000_

How long had it been now? Eight, ten months? He'd been living with the pain for so long now he wasn't sure anymore. Since Sari's upgrade, everything had been a cloud of agony and grief. He couldn't recall the events of the past few months clearly. He barely remembered the fight that let him retrieve Master Yoketron's helmet from Lockdown. The one thing he did remember though was Wasp's arrival on Earth. The little fragger had shown up in their base, ranting and raving that he was going to find 'Bumble-bot' and make him pay for his incarceration to the stockades. Prowl had very nearly slagged the green minibot had it not been for Jazz and Optimus holding him back. The white cyberninja had arrived on Earth not too long after Bumblebee's funeral. It had surprised the higher ups that he'd requested a transfer to the small, four-mech space bridge team trapped on Earth, but once he explained his reasons (and his friendship with Prowl), they understood immediately.

Alone in his room, Prowl vented a shaky sigh. Their last Decepticon encounter had been Soundwave's attempt to brainwash them, and even as a Decepticon, the agony that consumed his spark didn't fade. He'd nearly killed Sari, and it had taken a tremendous amount of effort to resist the temptation. He was only slightly surprised by how little he'd actually cared. Jazz had told him it wasn't healthy to hold a grudge like he was, but the porsche just didn't understand. None of them did. _Primus, I'm sorry...' _One by one, Prowl unclipped the mods that made up the extra armor from his frame until he was standing in his original state. With shaking servos, he removed the pronged helmet that had belonged to his master and carefully set it on the table next to his berth. _'But I just can't take it anymore.'_

Time seemed to slow as he walked behind his tree, out of sight from anybot that happened to walk through his door. Sitting cross-legged on the floor, he forced himself to take calming intakes and allow himself a few moments of meditation to steel his resolve. It wasn't hard to imagine the little yellow mech that he missed; the holo-scans and earth photos that decorated the walls of his room were proof of how often he thought of his other half. Prowl shuddered as he suppressed the sob that wanted to leave his vocalizer. He couldn't be weak, not now. Reaching into his sub-space, he brought out one of Ratchet's laser-scapels. Sharp and precise, the small medical intrusment would be more than enough. Retracting his chestplates, Prowl brought the scapel even his spark. _'It's the coward's way out, I know. But I want to be with him again. No matter what...'_ Shuttering his optics, the scapel plunged into his open chassis.

_0000_

Jazz onlined with a start. He wasn't sure what had roused him from stasis, but the sick churning in his tanks didn't help. His internal chronometer read 3:35 a.m., Earth time. No one should've been up at this time unless they were an insomniac which Jazz was not. Sighing, the white ninja tried to go back into stasis, but a distant noise kept him from doing so. He sat up, one optic ridge raised. _'That came from Prowl's room.'_ When it sounded again, Jazz slid off his berth and made for the door. Normally, this wouldn't have bothered Jazz, but since coming to Earth, he'd learned the extent of Prowl's grief. He knew that when one bondmate went offline, the other either followed them into deactivation or lived the rest of their lifestream with the pain that came from such a seperation. Prowl had been the latter, and with each passing day, it showed just how much it was tearing the mech apart.

When Jazz had first come to Earth for his transfer, he'd been absolutely shocked to see just how bad Prowl was treating his teammates, either ignoring them, yelling at them, or running away for days on end just to avoid them. That little girl, Sari, got the worst of it all. After witnessing one fight between her and Prowl, Jazz had gone after her to try and comfort her. Something he quickly learned was a mistake. Since he hadn't been there for Sari's upgrading, he hadn't been targeted by Prowl's irrational anger at his team. In fact, he was more open with his old friend and told him everything. He hadn't understood just how someone with Prowl's personality had fallen for someone like Bumblebee. Neither could Prowl, of course, but he'd simply told him that something about the yellow scout had always attracted Prowl. An Earth saying about opposites attracting was the best that Jazz could describe it.

However, the minute Jazz had started trying to reach out to the techno-organic girl, that had all stopped. Prowl didn't ignore him like he did his teammates, but he did get yelled at which was infinitely worse. As days turned to weeks, Jazz finally understood just how the rest of the Earthbound bots felt when their former teammate treated them as if they didn't exist or cursed the day they were activated. Jazz had been forced to meet Sari in secret and ignore her when she was around. It was the only way he was going to get Prowl to trust him again. Well, it had been nice to hope. Prowl's treatment of his teammates seriously affected his relationship with others that hadn't been there to the point it was difficult for him to trust anyone once they had lost that tentative foothold. It had taken months, but Jazz had finally gotten the darker mech to talk to him again though he still didn't entirely trust the white cyberninja.

Sighing, Jazz continued down the hallway, mindful of his steps and making sure to keep his weight off of his pedes. He didn't want to wake anybody. The med-bay doors were partially open, and Ratchet's curses could be heard drifting from inside. Jazz dared to peek inside and found the medic doggedly searching through his supplies, grumbling something about younglings and not respecting others' things. Smirking, Jazz lightly knocked on the door to let Ratchet know he wasn't alone. He was meet with an impatient stare as he carefully opened the door.

"Bit late to be redecoratin' don't ya think, Doc?"

"For your information, Jazz, I'm missing one of my laser-scapels. Those things are sharper than teeth on a sharkticon. I'd hate for Sari or anyone else to get cut on it," Jazz visibly winced as he imagined the little girl he'd grown fond of getting hurt by one those things.

"I'm sure it's around here somewhere, Ratch. I'll keep an optic out for it." Ratchet gave him a grateful smile and continued his search.

"By the way, what are you doing up so late?"

"Heard a noise comin' from Prowl's room. Thought I'd check on him." A worried expression crossed the ambulance's faceplate. Venting a heavy sigh, Ratchet lifted his optics towards the ceiling though Jazz knew he wasn't really looking at the ceiling but rather past it to something it seemed only he could see.

"Poor kid. I know he missses him, and I know how much pains he's in. I just wish he would realize how much he's hurting the rest of us," His shoulder struts drooped a little, a sign of his own grief and worry. He didn't turn back to face Jazz as he continued speaking, "It's been hard on all of us, trying to move on and fight for the cause without Bumblebee. Prowl's not making it any easier by blaming Sari and _us _for his death. Since you came here, it's been a little easier but not by much. Please. Keep an optic on him, Jazz," Ratchet turned to face him, and Jazz was shocked to see that the medic looked as though he'd aged 100 stellar cycles just thinking about the effects of the scout's death, "I'm afraid he'll do something...drastic." The Elite Guard had to suppress a shudder at the implications of Ratchet's words. Prowl wouldn't do i_that/i_. He couldn't...could he?

"Yeah, I'll...I'll do that. Later, Ratch." Jazz left to let Ratchet continue his searching while he started back down the hall towards Prowl's room. His conversation with the medic had left him disturbed, and he had to force himself to walk at a normal pace to keep from waking the others. There was no way Prowl could be so miserable as to try an act of self-termination. It went against everything their master had thought them. Yet he had also thought that Prowl, silent, emotionless, serious Prowl, would never bond with any bot, let alone Bumblebee. They were from two opposite ends of the spectrum, brought together by a twist of fate. Jazz had given up trying figure out the universe a long time ago.

It wasn't long before he found himself in front of Prowl's door. For several kliks, all Jazz could do was stand there, debating if he should enter Prowl's room. Yes, he was worried about his friend and only wanted to make sure he was okay. But was he being paranoid? Perhaps he'd imagined the sounds coming from this room, and his talk with Ratchet had only served to increase that paranoia. Deciding he only wanted to reassure himself, Jazz steeled himself, preparing for either the worst or a verbal lashing from his cyberninja brother. Slowly, almost as if in a daze, Jazz opened the door and stepped inside.

The mods that made up Prowl's armour laid scattered on the floor near his berth. The pronged helm that had once belonged to Master Yoketron was sitting on the berthside table. However, Prowl was nowhere to be seen.

"Prowl?" No answer. With the moon shining through the hole in the roof, there wasn't many places the dark mech could hide. Unless he was using his holo-projector. Figuring the motorcyclist was meditating on the roof, Jazz walked around the tree to begin climbing. His optics widened when he caught sight of Ratchet's missing laser scapel laying in a small puddle of energon at the base of the tree, a small trail leading away from it. Jazz followed it to the far corner of the room, hidden by the tree from the door, and gasped in horror at the energon covered form of his friend leaning against the wall. "PROWL!"

The black and gold mech barely moved, his helm supported by his servos. The pink life-fluid staining his chassis had gathered into a pool around him. Jazz hurriedly went to kneel by the injured mech's side. A quick examination told the Elite ninja that the source of the energon was coming from inside Prowl's chestplate, leaking from the seams. Trying not to break down, Jazz gently placed a servo on Prowl's shoulder. Before he could speak, Prowl spoke, his voice no more than a whisper.

"I couldn't do it, Jazz." Soft clicks crept from the cyberninja's vocalizer, shame and guilt written on his faceplate, "I just couldn't do it."

"I sure as the Pit hope not," Jazz tried to keep his voice calm and even, but there was a small, undeniable tremor nonetheless. Grabbing a rag from a nearby table, the white mech set about cleaning up as much of Prowl's chassis as he could. The other didn't move or make a sound, or even acknowledge what Jazz was doing. The Elite guard was getting more panicked by the nanosec. No matter how much energon he cleaned from the other, more continued to flow out. At this rate, he was going to bleed out.

Slipping an arm underneath Prowl's own, he helped the motorcyclist to stand and began a slow, steady trek to the medbay, a trail of energon left in their wake. If not for the fact that the wounds were inside Prowl's chestplate, he would've looked at them himself. However, he didn't want to aggravate the injured mech who would likely take offense at someone other than Ratchet --or Bumblebee-- seeing his spark. He didn't need to cause anymore damage than what had been done already. Prowl's ventilations were slow and ragged, and his fuel pump made a nasty grating noise.

"Come on, Prowl. Talk to me. Let me know you're still here." Silence followed Jazz's near desperate plea, and the white mech feared the worst. After nearly a klik, Prowl's visor faintly flickered for a moment then settled into a dim glow.

"I...I wasn't ready...to lose him." Jazz cycled a sigh of relief. Prowl was still online. Barely. He needed to hurrry.

"Prowl, ya'll coulda been together a million stellar cycles, and you woulda never been ready ta lose 'Bee." The medbay doors were in sight. Just a few more feet. Prowl didn't respond to Jazz's comment, his processor clouding, energon still flooding into his chassis. He could feel his spark struggling to stay pulsing even as his fuel pump was giving out on him.

In the end, he had been weak, his resolve crumbling. He'd backed out an astrosecond too late, and his servos had faltered, the scapel just barely grazing his spark and instead slicing open his main line. He didn't know how much longer he was going to last, and with his conscious fading, he faintly heard Jazz calling out to Ratchet. The medic's shocked cry was he the last sound he heard before surrendering to blackness.

_0000_

When Prowl onlined his optics next, it was to Ratchet's worried glare. Confusion arose in his still clouded processor. Hadn't he deactivated? Hadn't he finally bled out and his spark had given up on him? A quick systems check revealed that he was still among the functioning, and Prowl was unsure if he should feel relieved or angry. He still felt weak, his spark pulsing slow and steady, but he wasn't deactivated. Ratchet stood to his left, checking to make sure the various wires connecting him to the life support and other machines hadn't been compromised. On his other side, Jazz vented a sigh of relief that Prowl had finally come out of emergency stasis.

"If you ever give me a spark attack like that again, Prowl, I'll kick your aft to the Pit and back." Prowl barely moved his helm to look at the medic. Ratchet was still scowling at him, but the red and white bot's optics gave away his own relief that Prowl was still alive. The cyberninja groaned softly and returned to staring at the ceiling, his spark throbbing in a manner that made him want to purge. He was still here, living in agony without Bumblebee. Vaguely, he recalled Jazz's last words to him and shuttered his optics.

"It's...a million stellar cycles...I could've spent...with him." Even his speech was weak, his voice strained as he forced the words out of his vocalizer. Jazz felt his spark sink. He had only said that in hopes of getting Prowl to talk and stay online until he could reach Ratchet. The medic looked at Jazz curiously, his optic ridges furrowed in confusion. Soft clicks flowed from Prowl, his visor dimmed. Ratchet and Jazz exchanged worried glances with each other before looking back at the mech on the berth. When Prowl spoke again, it was a desperate whisper, full of despair, "Why couldn't you let me die, Ratchet?"

Both Ratchet and Jazz felt their sparks stop. It never occured to them that Prowl would be upset that they'd saved him from an attempt at suicide. The white and black mech had told him that Prowl admitted to not being able to do it, and Ratchet could tell from the angle of the cut that he hadn't meant to slice his main line. It had taken Ratchet nearly an entire solar cycle just to make sure Prowl didn't go offline under his care. Jazz had been absent for most of that time, cleaning away the energon trail leading from Prowl's room to the medbay and making sure the others didn't know what had happened. Things were bad enough without Optimus throwing a fit.

"Prowl, self-termination would've sent you to the Pit, and you know it. Even if you'd gone offline, you wouldn't have been reunited with Bee." Jazz watched helplessly as his friend turned away from him, frame shaking. Ratchet sighed, placing a comforting servo on the mech's shoulder. Prowl didn't even acknowledge him.

"He's right, kid. Bumblebee wouldn't have wanted you doing this to yourself either." Ratchet's servo was swatted away. Prowl curled in on himself, optics shuttered, trying to block out the two mechs. After awhile, he heard Jazz get up and leave, mumbling something about keeping the others away. Ratchet hooked up an alarm to let him know if any problems came up and retreated into his office. Left alone, Prowl let his mind wander, thinking over what the other two had told him and cursing himself for being so weak.

Why couldn't he have gone offline with Bumblebee that day? It was so much more preferable than living in this horrid, waking nightmare, spending every klik in constant agony, just waiting to die. It had taken him weeks to work up the nerve to decide to try self-termination. Sneaking into Ratchet's medbay for the laser-scapel had just been the easy part. Actually attempting the act had been...terrifying, but the throbbing pain of his ruined spark convinced him to try.

When Bumblebee's last words had flitted through his meta, he'd lost that conviction and tried to stop himself. He wouldn't admit it, but he knew Ratchet was right. There was no way Bumblebee would condone what he'd tried to do. Sighing, Prowl shuttered his optics and attempted to go into stasis. He doubted that Ratchet would let him go back to his room even after he'd healed. He was also willing to bet that neither the medic nor Jazz would let him out of their sight for a long while yet. They would make sure he got some form of help, even if it meant strapping him to a berth and forcing him to talk. When stasis finally came, the dark mech easily slipped into nothingness.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Slight rewriting to make more sense as far as why Prowl has been the aft that he's been lately. o.o; Enjoy. Review please.

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A week passed and neither Jazz nor Ratchet left Prowl alone. They kept watch on him like a photovaltic pussycat eyeing a glitch mouse. Just as he predicted, Ratchet didn't let him recharge in his room, forcing him to come to the medbay every night with alarms set up in case Prowl tried to leave. Optimus and Bulkhead had begun to get suspicious, but Ratchet deterred any questions by carrying around a good-sized wrench. It was irritating, to say the least, but he knew he could only blame himself. They were just worried about him and didn't want him doing anything to harm himself, but he sincerely wished he could get just one moment of peace.

Prowl was now in one of his 'therapy' sessions with Ratchet. The old medic was insistent that they talk about his problems, and most of that involved discussing the source of his depression, a tender subject and one he didn't want to think about. To the veteran's annoyance, Prowl was very reluctant to talk at all, often glaring pure hatred at him or questioning why he was being forced to go through this.

"Prowl, for the thousandth time," Ratchet sighed, obviously trying to keep from raising his voice, "You need to talk about what happened."

"Why?" Prowl retorted yet again, back facing the irritated medic. Ratchet vented another sigh. The cyberninja was being a stubborn aft, and the way he kept his backstruts to him while he asked yet again 'why' reminded him of a certain yellow mech.

"Because it's not healthy for you to harbor suicidal thoughts," Ratchet dead-panned, tired of dealing with the mech's refusal to cooperate. He'd used this line before, but Prowl never answered him, always staring blankly at the wall. The medic decided it was time to get to the source of the ninja's problem since it was clear that he wouldn't bring it up himself, "You need to find a way to move on if Bumblebee's deactivation is making you this miserable." Prowl visibly stiffened, turning to glare at the medic. Ratchet made a noise similar to a human gulping. He swore he could see the smoldering fires of the Pit burning in the blue visor.

"He wasn't just deactivated. He was _murdered_. You, of all mechs, should remember that."

"I am NOT going to blame Sari for this, Prowl."

"Why not?" The black and gold mech snarled, actually turning completely around to face him, "It's that little freak's fault that all of this even happened!" Ratchet openly gawked at Prowl. Never, even after Bumblebee's deactivation, had Prowl gone so far as to call Sari a freak. In that moment, Ratchet realized that they'd let it go on for far too long. Recovering from his shock, the medic huffed at Prowl.

"I'll have you know, Prowl, that Sari is just as upset as you. You know that the poor girl cries herself to sleep at night now because you've filled her with guilt. I hope to Primus she doesn't get so miserable as to try and do something as stupid as you did." Prowl's visor flashed, Ratchet's only warning before the cyberninja leapt off the berth. Much to his surprise, the medbay doors hissed open, and Prowl shot out the opening before Ratchet could move to stop him. Realizing that the dark mech had used that processor over matter technique to override the locks on the door, Ratchet tapped the side of his helm in annoyance.

**What's up, Ratch?** Jazz's concerned voice sounded over the comm. The medic sighed, pinching his nasal ridge between two digits.

**It's Prowl. He's escaped.**

**On it.** The communication line went silent. It was quiet for a few kliks until the distant sounds of fighting and arguing reached his audios. He knew the routine by now. Jazz would catch Prowl off-guard, the darker bot would try to fight back and quite well at that, but Jazz was the more experienced cyberninja. He would best Prowl in a matter of nanoseconds.

Nearly a breem went by before Jazz came strolling into the med-bay, a stasis-cuffed Prowl thrown over his shoulder. Unable to do much more than talk, the black and gold mech was growling a line of profanities, both human and Cybertronian. Jazz deposited Prowl none-too-gracefully onto the berth, his faceplates clearly expressing the annoyance he held for his friend's behavior.

"Prowl, this has got to stop," Ratchet mumbled, trying to keep the anger and annoyance out of his voice as Prowl turned away from him, glaring at the ceiling. Beside him, Ratchet heard Jazz grumble something incoherent before turning to look at the medic.

"Mind if I try a little something?" Ratchet gestured with his servo towards the depressed mech on the berth.

"Be my guest." Jazz nodded, standing beside the berth and staring down hard at Prowl.

It surprised the other two when Jazz's servo flew out and struck Prowl across the faceplate causing both the dark bot and the medic to stare at him in disbelief. The Elite guard was strictly against hurting those he cared about, and it was highly unusual for him to lose his temper with anyone. One look at the deep frown set on his faceplates told Ratchet that the white cyberninja was fed up with his friend and could stand-by no longer.

"Stop being such a stupid, stubborn aft. You think you're the only one suffering when the suffering is only worse because of _you_," Jazz was nearly growling the words, but Ratchet made no move to stop him or tell him to go on. If anything, the medic hoped that whatever Jazz had to say would serve as the wake-up call Prowl desperately needed, "I know I didn't know 'im as well as the rest of ya, but Bumblebee was a damn good mech and friend, and the way you're acting is disrepectful to his memory. If you can't see how much you're hurting everyone with that, then I'm having a slagging hard time understanding what Bee ever saw in you."

Stunned silence followed the end of Jazz's rant, the white mech holding Prowl's shocked, hurt, and somewhat disbelieving stare with his own. Ratchet could only stare wide-opticed and mouth gaping. He honestly had not been expecting such an outburst from the normally cool mech. Whatever he had been expecting, it certainly had not been that even though he could admit it had been needing to be said for awhile.

Prowl, it seemed, didn't know quite how to react. His lips were parted in a silent gasp like bewilderment, but his visor was tilted into that pained expression Ratchet last remembered seeing the day Bumblebee went offline. After several kliks of silence, Prowl's gaze fell and turned away from both, the faint trembling of his frame suggesting that he was holding back clicks as best he could.

Jazz motioned to Ratchet to leave with a nod of his helm. The medic was reluctant at first, but a promise to keep Prowl in the medbay made over their comm. links reassured him. Still, he was hesitant when he left out the doors that slid shut with a soft hiss. Left alone, Prowl did something Jazz didn't he was capable of doing anymore. He broke down.

Soft and just barely above a whisper, clicks flowed from his vocalizer like water from a container. With the stassis cuffs still restricting his movements, Prowl couldn't do much more than turn his head to the side, but it was obvious that he wanted to curl in on himself. Jazz might've undone the cuffs if not for the fact he wasn't sure if Prowl would try to bolt or not.

After nearly a breem, the motorcyclist's cries ceased, his expression far away as though he was remembering some distant memory. Jazz hoped that he hadn't gotten lost in the past again, but he knew the breakdown was something Prowl had been needing for awhile rather than repressing it with high-grade. He felt only a twinge of guilt for putting his friend through that kind of despair, but he just couldn't stand Prowl's attitude anymore, and his suicide attempt of a week ago had Jazz worried out of his processor for Prowl's mental health.

Clearing his intake, Jazz spoke in a quiet, apologetic but stern tone, "I'm sorry, Prowl. I really am, but..."

"No. Don't apologize," Prowl's hollow voice cut across him. The black and gold mech sounded dead to the world, "You're right. I'm dishonoring him and trying self termination....That's a disgraceful insult to his memory. He...he would've been ashamed of me."

Jazz hadn't been expecting this kind of reaction or confession from Prowl at his speech. In fact, for what he'd said, he'd been expecting the black cyberninja to lash out and yell at him, to tell him that he did not and would never understand. He wondered if perhaps he'd struck a nerve no one else had had the courage to strike for fear of losing their comrade completely.

_'And look what's become of him now...' _The thought passed bitterly through Jazz's meta as watched his friend shake with suppressed sobs. They were on the verge of losing Prowl by his own servos and only he and Ratchet knew. Prime, Bulkhead, and Sari had no clue of his suicide attempt, and if Ratchet and Jazz had their way, they wouldn't know for awhile. Not until Prowl was stable again, and they could put the incident behind them.

When Prowl spoke again, it was with a broken voice, and the words that left his vocalizer stopped Jazz's spark, "He...He was carrying, Jazz. He was carrying my sparkling." If Jazz hadn't been leaning against the other berth, he might've fallen over completely. His processor stalled, and his tanks gave an unsettling lurch. Everything made sense now, why Prowl had taken everything so hard, why Sari caught the brunt of Prowl's misery and irrational anger, why Prowl himself had been so far gone as to try suicide.

He hadn't just lost Bumblebee that day. He'd lost their unborn child, something precious and worthwhile created between them. Sari had taken two sparks offline without even realizing it, and from the lack of reaction on everyone else's behalf, Jazz doubted that they'd even known about the sparkling. There probably hadn't been time to tell them before the accident. Guilt for his own speech filled his spark, and it took a tremendous amount of effort on his part to keep from purging.

It wasn't just the past that Prowl was mourning. So much had been lost with Bumblebee and the sparkling's untimely terminations, and Jazz was just realizing the extent of the damage to Prowl's spark. He'd never get to hold it, never know if would have been a mech or femme. He'd never get to see it take it's first steps or it's first smile, hear it's first laugh or call him 'daddy'. Perhaps worst of all--no, definitely worse-- was that Prowl would never get to share in that special moment with Bumblebee when their sparkling would have entered the world and taken it's first 'breath' of life.

Maybe Prowl's suicide attempt had been his desperate bid to try and reunite his shattered family, and Jazz couldn't help the small twinge of guilt he felt for denying him that simple wish.

Trying to push down his own warring emotions with the revelation, Jazz locked optics with Prowl and hoped he sounded convincing, "Listen, Prowl. I know that must be tough, Pit it must be awful, but you can't let that drag you down. Bee said he'd wait for ya, right?" Faintly, Prowl nodded, focusing on the ceiling, "Then do what he would've wanted you to do. Move on and forgive. Try to be happy. Live." Jazz watched Prowl carefully, noting how his optic ridges furrowed, as though he were actually considering Jazz's words. Beyond that, his expression was unreadable, still the same dead, blank look it had become after his breakdown.

After what felt like stellar cycles, Prowl finally sighed, giving a faint nod that was accompanied by a quiet answer, "I'll try."

Jazz broke out into a smile. It may not have seemed like much to some, but he considered it a huge step in the right direction. Before Jazz had snapped, Prowl would've never even considered it. He leaned over and unlocked the stassis cuffs, allowing Prowl to sit up and rub his wrists while he stared absently at the floor.

Prowl still felt numb inside, his depression back with a force that was almost unbearable. However, there was no way he would try self-termination again. It had been hard enough the first time, and he could only imagine the nightmares that plagued Jazz of finding him bleeding energon out from his sliced main line. He wasn't going to put his friend through that again. As daunting as the task seemed at the moment, he was going to try to do what Jazz suggested. What Bumblebee would've wanted him to do.

_'My time will come soon. I'll see you there, Bee.'_


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Just to give you a heads up, tissues may or may not be required. Depends you I guess. This chapter is mostly flash-back, but they are important to the story nonetheless.

R&R please.

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Jazz surveryed the disk in front of him, eyeing it with curiousity and apprehension. He'd been in possession of it for nearly a cycle, and he had yet to slip it into the computer and watch the contents. He already knew what they were, and he dreaded seeing the events for himself. After some convincing, Prowl had allowed Ratchet access to his memory files and to download copies of his memories, more specifically the ones having to do with Bumblebee and the sparkling. The news of unknown sparkling had shocked the medic to his core, but he performed his task like a professional and let Prowl leave for his room afterwards to meditate and rest.

True to his word, Prowl had been making a conscious effort to get back on his pedes again. It had started off with removing the pictures of Bumblebee off his wall as it wasn't necessarily healthy for him to keep them up anymore. The Elite ninja had considered taking them down himself while he'd been cleaning Prowl's room of the spilled energon, but he'd refrained himself from doing so. Part of Prowl's recovery was learning how to handle Bumblebee's deactivation and taking down the pictures had been a test to see if he could truly accept that his bondmate was gone. It was something he had to do on his own, and Jazz could only offer the support he needed by being there.

It had been difficult, yes, but after a few, long cycles, only a select few pictures remained up while the rest went into a specially designed datapad that functioned much like a human photo album. Prowl looked at it once in awhile, with Jazz nearby just in case, and the white mech had been relieved to see the sorrowful frown quirk up into a small smile as he relived whatever memory it was with fondness. The smile would disappear after an astrosecond or two, but it had still been there where before it had never exsisted.

The next step had been trying to fall back into the normal routine, to actually hang around the mechs he'd once-and stil did-considered friends. Of course, they'd been confused as to his seemingly sudden change in behavior, but after a few solar cycles, they been began to realize that on some level, they'd gotten their friend back, and that was good enough for them. It was then Ratchet had chosen to drag Prime into his office and explain what had happened three weeks ago. The conversation hadn't gone well.

"Prowl tried self-termination, and you didn't tell us?"

"We had our reasons, kid. It was for..."

"Our own good? How is it good for us that our teammate tried to kill himself, and we weren't informed? Do you have any idea how worried we've been?" Ratchet huffed, slamming his servos down on his desk to silence the young Prime.

"Would you stop thinking about yourself? That's precisely why we didn't tell you. You would've gone off on a mentally and emotionally unstable mech in your concern and things would've been worse than they already were. We didn't tell you _not_ for your own good but for Prowl's." Ratchet choose not to mention the sparkling Bumblebee had been carrying when he'd gone offline. He didn't know how Prime would take the news, and he didn't want to create another problem. He'd dismissed Optimus with a medic's order not to bring up Prowl's suicide attempt in public or he would end up with a wrench up his exhaust and some broken leg struts.

Sighing, Jazz looked at the disk again, mulling over the last two weeks. While Prowl had made a decent start on the road to recovery, he was still reluctant to talk about the day he discovered he would be a father and the day it all slipped away from him. Before they could talk about the emotional aspects of it and hopefully draw out the poison it was causing, Jazz had to know the details. Prowl may have responded better to him than Ratchet (resulting in Jazz taking over Prowl's therapy sessions), but he just could not even begin to recall those events without feeling that horrible spark-break again. He and Ratchet had decided it would be best if they viewed the memories themselves and give Prowl some time to prepare for the questions afterwards.

Knowing he couldn't stall any longer, Jazz popped the disk into his personal computer and opened the correct files. The memory began to play itself out like a home movie, all from Prowl's perspective of course, and the white cyberninja payed close attention to the event folding out before him.

_88888_

_The hallway and doors passed by quickly. Prowl's stride was quick, heading for his room._

Jazz payed close attention to the specific notes scrolling upwards on the left side of the screen, noticing that Prowl's quickened pace was due to having felt distress across his and Bumblebee's bond.

_He arrived at his door and opened it, quickly and silently, shutting it in the same way once he was in. Bumblebee sat in the chair by his desk, back to him. He was shaking and staring at something he was holding in his servo. Curious, Prowl snuck over and looked over the young mech's shoulder to see what he had. It was a little square device, the wire from the bottom connected to the medical access port in the side of Bumblebee's chassis._

Jazz recognized the device immediately and realized that the scout must've snuck into Ratchet's medbay to get one.

_With the text written in standard Cybertronian glyphs, the digital display on the screen showed certain changes in the mech's systems along with one word at the bottom to answer the question Bumblebee must have been asking himself for at least half an orn: POSITIVE. Prowl's optics widened, and he placed one servo on the yellow shoulder._

_"Is that what I think it is?" His voice was at once surprised, pleased, and disbelieving. Slowly, Bumblebee turned to him, looking as though he would cry any minute if Cybertronians could leak in the same way as humans._

_"I...I'm carrying, Prowl." It was a whispered confession, the scout's voice tentative and uncertain. Prowl tilted his head to the side, confused. The way he'd said it sounded as though he didn't think it was possible. That or he didn't want it._

_"You don't sound happy about it." Prowl stated as gently as he could. That broke the dam. Suddenly, Bumblebee was in his arms, faceplate buried in his chassis while he clicked in distress. Prowl didn't know exactly what to do so he just wrapped his arms around the minibot, rubbing his back and waiting._

_"I'm scared! I'm so scared, Prowl," Hiccups and whimpers followed, but Prowl didn't answer though he was thoroughly confused. What did Bumblebee have to be scared of by carrying? Sure, as a first-time carrier, he would be nervous and more than likely a little frightened by the idea, but Prowl would've thought he would be happy to have a sparkling with him. "Ho-how are we supposed to raise a...a sparkling in the middle of a war? It could be months or even stellar cycles before it's over, and if the Decepticons find out, who knows what they'll do with it," Bumblebee paused, shivering. When he spoke again, he was whimpering the words, "How can we expect to keep it safe?"_

Jazz felt his spark-wrench for the yellow scout. His fears were-had been-completely understandable.

_Relief flooded Prowl's processor. Bumblebee did want the sparkling; he was just worrying himself over hypotheticals. Though Prowl did see the sense in those worries. The Decepticons were low enough to try anything to win a battle, even kidnapping and hurting a sparkling. At least, one not of Decepticon origins._

_"We're it's creators, Bumblebee. It's parents. All it and the Cons would ever need to know is that we would do anything and everything to keep it safe. Hush. You're worrying yourself over nothing." Bumblebee's cries lessened, and he eventually looked up at his bondmate. There was a reflection of Prowl's reassuring smile in those big blue optics. Bumblebee vented a sigh, sniffling, and nuzzled into the black and gold chassis._

_"I'm sorry. I was just...It's a little overwhleming, ya know?" Prowl chuckled and pecked Bee on the little black arrow on his helm._

_"I know," Prowl said, patting Bumblebee's back and letting his engine rumble softly, "It is a new life that is, and will be, completely dependant upon us, but we will care for it and give it everything that we never had. I will settle for nothing less it's complete happiness, and I'm sure it will grow to be a fine mech or femme." This seemed to put Bumblebee's anxiety and worries with carrying to rest, and he snuggled close to the taller mech._

_"Thanks, ninjabot."_

_"Anytime. Now, we need to think about telling the others soon and start preparing for the sparkling. I think I finally know just what to do with your old room." Bumblebee smiled and leaned up to kiss Prowl. It was the last image the memory played before going black as Prowl's optics shuttered then the vid cut-off._

Jazz didn't know whether to click or to smile, the memory touching him to his spark. He'd known about Prowl bonding with the yellow mech. Being one of his closest friends, Jazz had had the privilege of knowing before the rest of Optimus's little team by a transmission Prowl sent to him that had simply read _We're bonded_. However, it had been after the last time Sentinel had visited Earth, and Jazz hadn't gotten to see just how Prowl and Bumblebee acted together. That last visit with Sentinel had been the last time he'd seen the yellow hellion before having to watch his funeral on Cybertron. Now, he knew that they had still teased each other, but there had been an underlying tone of affection that was near impossible to miss even in vid-files.

Curious, he checked the date of the file and was torn to see that it had been just days before Sari's upgrade. The Elite guard didn't know if he could watch the other file, knowing full well that he would viewing Prowl's last memory of his bondmate, seeing Bumblebee die in his arms, his spark fading away. With a churn of his tanks, Jazz also realized that before he would see Bumblebee go offline, he would have to watch that final conversation between them with the knowledge that the sparkling would go before its carrier, and that both mechs would feel that barely formed bond break and wither away.

Steeling himself for what was sure to be the most spark-breaking breem of his lifestream, Jazz opened the second memory file and let it play.

_When Prowl's visor flickered online, Bulkhead's horrified faceplates loomed in his vision, but he wasn't looking at the cyberninja. With a grunt, Prowl managed to sit up, every cable and hydraulic wire in his body sore from the impact of the backlash Sari had unintentionally thrown at him, and looked forward. His ventilations hitched and stopped._

_Bumblebee was standing in front of Sari, but neither mech nor girl moved, the red-head's face frozen with guilt and disbelief. The yellow mech's frame quaked as he made a tremendous effort to stay on his pedes. He shouldn't have even been out there in the middle of a fight, even if it was one to save his best friend. Lodged deep in his chassis, no doubt piercing his spark, one of Sari's newfound cyber-blades pulsated with a building energy charge._

_Bumblebee swayed forward just little before the energy charge was released in a blast that sent the yellow mech reeling back, hitting the concrete and rolling, coming to rest half on his side, half on his front. Smoke rose from the hole blown into his chassis, his spark just barely visible and struggling to stay pulsing. Energon and oil poured from the wound onto the road, forming a large, ominous puddle beneath him._

Jazz couldn't keep up with the multitude of Cybertronian glyphs running up the side of the screen, reporting Prowl's thoughts and emotions relating to events of the current file being viewed. 'Oh please, Primus, no...' was the only thought that seemed to be consistently repeating itself. For a few kliks, everything was a blur, but Jazz knew it to be the time space in which Prowl had retrieved the key from a still out-of-control Sari in hopes that it could save his bondmate and sparkling. He'd been horrified to learn that thing had been rendered useless, drained of its power by the upgrade. Ratchet performed what repairs he could and then he was gone to stop Sari from destroying Detriot. The file picked back up once more, and Jazz drew in a deep cycle of air as he heard Bumblebee's weak voice call out.

_Kneeling to the ground, Prowl gathered Bee into his arms, cradling the little mech close and pressing the heel of his palm to the injury, trying in vain to staunch the bleeding. Bumblebee's ventilations were shallow and ragged, energon having likely flooded into his intake. His spark pulsing erractically, Prowl gently eased open the beetle's spark-chamber and keened in horror. A deep, dark blue rip had formed where Sari's blade had pierced his spark, its presence disrupting his spark's normal energy current and frequency to the point that the blue orb was beginning to go transparent, a sign of weakness and imminent spark failure. It was only a matter of time before Bumblebee's spark eventually gave up and flared out._

_"Bumblebee, say something. Anything. Please," Prowl's voice wavered, the black mech trying to keep from breaking down then and there. He was holding on to the dwindling hope that Ratchet could fix this once Sari was under control. There was silence for three, long astroseconds before Bumblebee stirred again, coughing up the energon that had built up in his intake. Dull blue optics stared up at him, barely masking the pain he was no doubt in. Where was the bright baby-blue color he fell for?_

_"H-hey, ninjabot," With every intake, more energon flowed from the corners of Bee's mouth. Prowl cupped the scout's cheek and wiped away the life-fluid with his thumb, only for more to trickle out down to his chin and drip onto chassis._

_"Hey," Prowl murmured, low and strained, trying to conceal his growing panic with the situation, "Listen, Bee. Can you do that? You can't give up, alright? Just hang on until we get back to base. Ratchet can fix you," Bumblebee shook his helm weakly, trying to quiet his bondmate, but Prowl would not hear it. When Prowl spoke again, his voice actually broke, "We're going to have a family soon, Bee. Please...hang on for the sparkling."_

_Servos shaking, Bumblebee grabbed one of Prowl's hands and placed it flat over his spark-chamber, optics half-shuttered while he stared at Prowl in grief, "Prowl, the sparkling's gone. The blast...It didn't make it. C-can't you feel that?"_

This time, Jazz paused the vid, taking a moment to even out his intakes as he read carefully through the text displayed on the side of the screen. Prowl had tried to feel his sparkling's spark, but it was no longer there, just as Bumblebee had claimed. It was too young to have survived something like that. The Elite guard doubted that the sparkling had even made it past being stabbed. Bumblebee must've been in so much pain by that point though that he might not have realized the sparkling was gone until after the blast knocked him backwards.

For a moment, Jazz allowed himself to wonder if maybe, just maybe, Bumblebee's death had more to do with the sparkling's termination. It had been a part of him, a part of his spark, and it had died so suddenly and so violently that maybe Bumblebee's systems couldn't take the sudden disruption with his spark. He also knew that while Bumblebee hadn't wanted to die, the scout had known there was no way to avoid it and decided to follow his sparkling in peace, trying to give Prowl some semblance of that before he left.

Jazz didn't know if he could finish watching, but he had to. He had to know. Forcing himself to click the button, he let the vid continue playing.

_"Primus, no..." Prowl vented a shaky sigh, turning his attention back to his bondmate. He cradled Bee closer and gently rocked him, more for his own comfort than anything. "I-it'll be alright. We'll have another chance. Just stay online, Bumblebee."_

_"Prowl, stop," For moment, Bumblebee's voice came through stronger than he would've thought possible, but it caught Prowl's attention, the cyberninja quieting his desperate pleas. Bumblebee coughed again before he began speaking, that weak voice back in place, "I had...a wonderful life, and you know it. You, Bulkhead...Prime, Ratchet, and Sari have been the best friends I've ever had. I couldn't have asked for better friends." Prowl bit his glossa to keep from interrupting. He didn't want to hear this. He didn't want to hear his bondmate's last words. He wasn't ready to hear them._

_"You know, when I first realized I had a crush you, it scared me out of my processor. Mainly because I didn't know if you felt the same or if you'd reject me. Can believe how happy I was when you said it first? What a relief that was." The beetle flashed him a tiny smile at the end of his sentence. At that, Prowl actually cracked a small smile. He remembered that day, remembered Bumblebee's look of utter relief and happiness when he actually admitted that he loved the minibot first. It had been one of the best days of his life stream._

_Bumblebee continued speaking, his voice getting weaker with every other word, "The day we bonded was the first time in a long time I'd felt truly happy. You...you gave me a reason to want to be a better mech. I know I didn't change much, but it was still better than nothing. No one else will ever mean more than you." Before Prowl had a chance to reply, Bumblebee leaned up and kissed him one last time. They didn't keep the kiss long though Prowl made sure to put everything he didn't have time to say into it, a barely audible click slipping past his lips when they broke._

_Optics flickering, Bumblebee smiled at him and whispered, "I'll wait for you."_

He was gone after that. Bumblebee's armour faded from the bright yellow he was known for to the dark gray that was death in Cybertronians. Jazz had turned away from the screen, unable to bare watching anymore though he could still hear Prowl's desperate, spark-broken voice as he pleaded with his deactivated bondmate to come back to him. Before the file cut-off, Jazz heard Prowl whisper to whatever spirit happened to be listening at the moment.

_"Don't leave me, please. I don't want to be alone again..."_

88888

When Jazz's heavy pede-falls reached his audios, Prowl slowly forced himself out of his meditation. For once, he'd managed to keep his processor from falling back into the turmoil that was left behind from Bumblebee's deactivation, and it allowed him to think clearly on what he knew Jazz was watching and hopefully brace himself for the next therapy session he knew was coming.

In reality, he was trying to convince himself that he was ready to face this after so many months spent grieving over it, but when his door opened to reveal Jazz standing unusually still (even for a cyberninja) and his intakes wavering which proved he'd been upset by what he'd seen, Prowl's resolve crumbled. Jazz stepped hesitantly into the room, the black and white shifting from pede to pede, unsure where to begin. To his relief, Prowl spoke first, his smooth tone doing little to hide his emotion.

"Now you understand." Venting a sigh, the Elite guard nodded his helm even though Prowl hadn't actually asked him a question. It had been a statement.

"Yeah, I get ya now. Seeing it how you saw it, it'd be kinda hard not to," Rubbing the back of his helm, Jazz tried to choose his next words carefully but didn't see any way around the issue now, "Living with that day after day, I can see why you'd be so..."

"Don't," The sudden and stern command stopped Jazz in his tracks. Purposefully looking away from him, Prowl's servo was held out in front of in the common gesture for 'stop'. The older mech waited patiently while Prowl gathered his thoughts, his arm lowering back down to his side after a few nanokliks, "Try to understand, Jazz. I thought I could deal with this now, but I can't. Knowing you would see it how I saw it didn't make it any easier," The motorcyclist lifted his faceplates to meet Jazz's concerned gaze.

When Prowl had started his speech, there had been a spark of fear, the fear that had driven Jazz to get Prowl to the medbay that night weeks ago. Rather than speaking out like he so wanted to, his better instincts told him to hear Prowl out, "Give me a few solar cycles to get my processor straight again. I'll come to you when I'm ready." As if to reassure his friend, Prowl gave Jazz a rare smile that relaxed the Elite ninja. Nodding his understanding, Jazz turned to leave, throwing Prowl a glance over his shoulder.

"I dig ya, and I'll keep ya to that promise" There was a nod of agreement shared between them that served as Jazz's cue to leave. Shutting Prowl's door behind him, he only managed to walk a few yards before leaning against the wall and sliding to the floor. He didn't think he'd ever be so emotionally and physically exhausted just from watching a vid file, but it had been Prowl's memory of the day his bondmate and sparkling were terminated. He should've expected it but expecting it wouldn't have made any easier to watch. He needed a distraction.

Flipping through the stations in his internal radio, Jazz searched for something to take his processor off of the new information, and the burden that had come with it. He settled on some alternative channel that he couldn't remember the name of, but it was playing a song he'd grown to enjoy while staying on Earth, something called 'Hey Soul Sister' by a band called Train. Sitting slumped against the hallway wall, Jazz lazily tapped one pede along to the beat while he mouth the lyrics to himself, the laid-back rhythm of the song helping him to forget the problems surrounding him for the moment.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Sorry for the over-due update. I've been working on DA requests, and wrestling signs for my cousin and his dad. Which were on TV last night, and I was happy. 8D

This was supposed to be the last chapter, but again, this thing took on a mind of its own, and wouldn't let me add-on anymore. So one more chapter to go guys!

Review please! Flames will be laughed at.

* * *

"Hey, Sari. Can you meet me in the park today? There's something I wanna show ya."

"Sure thing, Jazz."

She would have never suspected Jazz, the mech who had become her best friend in Bumblebee's absence, of anything other than his word. If he had something to show her, then he had something to show her. Lying wasn't one of his traits, and it was easy to belive him of anything he said.

So when Sari did show up at the park at the agreed time and place, she was both shocked and frightened to see that Prowl was there instead, his arms crossed over his chassis as he stared off into the distance. She hadn't seen Prowl in weeks, and she'd come to prefer that. At least when the others came to visit her, they didn't make her feel so...so guilty. Why was he here now and where was Jazz?

Prowl realized that he had company, turning his visored stare on Sari. She visibly flinched, expecting another verbal lashing. However, instead of yelling or glaring pure hatred at her, he flashed a small smile and beckoned her to come over. Confused, she did so, every hesitant step bringing her closer to mech who regarded her as the worst person in the universe. When she was close enough, or as close enough as she cared to get, Prowl lowered himself to the ground, sitting cross-legged against the tree he'd been leaning on when she arrived. After a few moments, Prowl finally broke the awkward silence hanging between them.

"Sari-"

"NO! I don't wanna hear it again! I know it's my fault. I know I killed Bumblebee. You don't have to keep rubbing it in," Sari didn't think she'd ever felt more free in her life. She'd wanted so long to tell Prowl off, and now she couldn't stop, "He may have been your bondmate, but he was everyone's friend, including mine. Just because you feel some pain from losing him doesn't we don't, and I'm so sick of you pushing that blame on me. How many times do I have to tell you I'm sorry?"

A long silence followed her words, tears stinging the corners of her blue eyes as she glared at Prowl. She'd finally said it, finally said all that she'd been feeling all this time. So why did she feel bad? Why did she feel as though she should've waited? It took a her moment to realize the problem..

Prowl wasn't glaring at her, wasn't yelling at her, wasn't doing any of the things she'd come to expect from him since Bumblebee's death. Instead, he only stared at her, his mouth forming a mournful frown, visor titled just enough to show...was that regret? She couldn't tell. Prowl's expression had changed somehow, still showing the grief and sorrow but without the anger that he used to display it. Instead, shame seemed to have taken its place, and the techno-organic was confused as to why.

Venting a sigh, Prowl looked away from her and began speaking, "I deserve that. I've been an aft to you and the others but mostly you," He looked at her again, staring her straight in the face, "I know it was an accident. There was something you didn't know about, but I'm not going blame you for that either," He stood back up, nodding his head towards a cluster of trees nearby, "Jazz is over there if you still want to meet with him. I just came to say that I'm sorry, and I forgive you." With that, he was gone, disappearing within the blink of an eye.

Sari, for the most part, was confused yet relieved. Where did _that_ come from? For months, he had blamed her and her alone for Bumblebee's deactivation. The others caught some of it, but not near as much as she had. Now, he was the one apologizing and actually, finally, forgiving her. She just didn't understand it.

"I take it you're confused." Startled, the techno-organic turned around to see Jazz towering over her, looking at with a mixture of sympathy and something she couldn't name. She nodded, stepping onto his servo when he offered it. He lifted her up until she was optic level with him.

"What's going on, Jazz? Why would he suddenly-"

"Sari," Jazz interrupted, his voice stern yet gentle, "I'm going to tell you something, something disturbing, and it may upset you. Hell, it still upsets me thinking about it, but it's better if you hear it from me than from anyone else. And after I tell you, I want you to go talk to Prowl because Primus knows that mech needs all the help he can get right now. Okay?" Sari's expression went from confused to concerned as Jazz spoke. Something terrible had happened. After a tense few moments, Sari nodded, trying to brace herself for the worst. Jazz vented a sigh and began his explaination.

Maybe it wasn't the best way to wait for Sari, but as Prowl sat at his desk, slowly flipping through the holo-scans stored in the datapad, he couldn't have cared. It was the first time since they'd been put in here that he'd been able to look at them without Jazz hovering nearby and making him feel suffocated. He knew it was out of concern, but it still unnerved him. Yes, it still hurt when he thought about everything that had been lost, but since he'd been making the effort to move on, it wasn't as acute, and bit by bit he was learning how to live again.

Not that the grief went away completely. A part of him was missing, and nothing could ever change that or the pain that affected his spark because of it it.

As he stumbled across a holo-scan showing him, Bumblebee, Sari, and the others, Prowl heard his door slowly open, and the shuffling of small feet as they pushed their way in. He turned in his chair, facing Sari as she closed his door and looked up at him. Fresh tear trails stained her cheeks and immediately he knew that Jazz had explained to her what happened to him, what he'd done to himself. Prowl beckoned her closer, and she complied, stepping onto his servo when she was near and allowing him to set her on his desk. She noticed the photo album style datapad, but before she could see what was in it-though she had a good clue-, he turned it off and set it to the side, giving his full attention to her.

Swallowing the lump in her throat, Sari began speaking, "Why would you do that to yourself?" Prowl winced. He would've preffered not to start off with that, but he'd a feeling that's what she would have asked about first.

"I was miserable, Sari, and in so much pain, I couldn't take it anymore," His confession carried the weight of one with the world on his shoulders and the pressure was getting to them. Sari sat down, knowing she was in for a long explaination. Prowl sighed again, his intakes wavering. He still could not even think about his lost sparkling without wanting to break down, "There's something we never told you guys. Something I should've said that day Optimus sent Bumblebee and Bulkhead to scavenge for parts from the space bridge. Maybe they'd still be here." Now, Sari was confused.

"'They'? Don't you mean 'he'?" Sari corrected, almost timidly. Part of her was still afraid of the black and gold, always aware of how he moved and keeping an eye out to see if he would try to strike at her even though he hadn't done anything physical to harm her in the months following that day. Prowl shook his head, locking gazes with her.

"No, Sari. I mean 'they'. Bumblebee was..." He had to stop himself and think of the appropriate human word. Sari wouldn't understand the Cybertronian term. Once it came to him, he continued, "Bumblebee was pregnant...when he went offline."

At first, Sari didn't understand what he'd meant. Bumblebee had been a guy, right? How could he have been pregnant? It didn't make sense to her. She started to tell this to Prowl, that she didn't get how it was possible then it dawned on her. They may have been robots, but they were still aliens. Things were different for them, even reproduction. Just because they all seemed like 'males' to her didn't mean it was necessarily true. They hadn't even recognized her as 'female' when they first met until she told them, and even then, they'd been confused. Optimus had been beyond shocked to learn how humans reproduced, but maybe it had been for a different reason than simply _how_ it was done like she had suspected.

Fresh tears began to pour from her blue eyes. Shaking, Sari realized what she'd done, "Y-you mean I...I _killed _your baby? Bumblebee's baby? Oh, no wonder you hate me." She tried in vain to wipe away the tears that no longer wanted to stop. How could she? She'd killed the baby of her best friend and his bondmate in the same day she'd accidentally taken Bumblebee offline. She felt sick to her stomach, but there was no where for her to go. She couldn't just leap off Prowl's desk without getting hurt somehow.

To her immense surprise, Prowl didn't try to blame her again. Rather he lifted her up in one servo, gently wiping away her tears with the other. "I don't hate you, Sari. It was an accident, and none of you knew about our sparkling," Sari looked up at him, sniffling. She searched his visor for any trace of malice or sign that he might be lying just to keep her from feeling any worse than she did.

However, she found only sincerity with his words depsite the haunted, grief-stricken look still present in his expression. Sari wondered how the hell Prowl could be so forgiving right now when she just discovered that she'd taken his future away from him.

Sighing, Prowl brought her closer and let her bury her face into his chassis. "Look, Sari. I know forgiving yourself for this won't be easy; believe me, I know," He actually attempted a smile, and she couldn't help it. After so many months, the sight of him trying to smile at her of all people brought a tiny smile to her own mouth, "But the last thing I want is for you to get as miserable as I was. You're forgiven, and I wouldn't mind you hanging around again. Alright?"

Sari took a moment to think everything over, what she'd learned, what he told her, and what he wanted her to do. It felt i_odd/i_ to be around him now and know he wouldn't hurt her or yell at her like she'd come to expect. It was odd to see him actually trying to smile at her even if it didn't really reach his visor. There was still a little too much pain there for it to be entirely genuine, but she didn't really blame him for being so upset. It was even odder that he even wanted her around.

However, for all the oddity, it wasn't unwelcome. She missed hanging around the base, being around her friends in a familiar place, being together as a family even with one missing.

Sari smiled up at Prowl and nodded, trying to control tears yet again, "I'd like that." Prowl nodded and smiled at her, reaching for the datapad he'd set aside.

"Jazz normally doesn't let me look at this alone. He's afraid I'll go... suicidal again, but I think I'm past that," Prowl explained gently, setting it down in front of her and turning it on, "But I find that it helps to at least think about the good times and thinking about them with someone who was there might be more beneficial." Sari looked up at him, noticing the encouraging look he was giving her. He really did want her here, to help him and herself, "Don't you think?" She nodded at him, scooting closer to the datapad as he turned it on.

For at least a hour, they sat flipping through the datapad, reminiscing. They shared their personal memories of Bumblebee with a fondness that had been absent for the most part but had finally been found. Sari was, of course, having trouble coming to terms with what she'd done, now that there was a previously unknown factor, but having Prowl forgive her despite that helped to keep her from sinking any further into depression. She realized that they were helping each other to get out of the misery and past the grief and hopefully leave it behind sometime soon.

At the end of the day, when Prowl told her she was welcome to spend the night if she wanted, Sari happily agreed, practically skipping to her old room and falling asleep with a peace of mind she'd not known in awhile. They were friends again, which was all she'd wanted for months, and she was going to take whatever time she could get to rebuild her friendship with Prowl.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: This angsty ride is over! I want to thank everyone for sticking through this, and anyone who's fave, reviewed, etc. I'd put your names right now, but it's 12:30 at night and I got school tomorrow. So tomorrow, I'll properly thank you with your names. 8D For now, enjoy the last chapter of _Meet You There_.

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"Why'd you do it?"

It was the fiftith time Sari had asked that to, well, no one really. She honestly didn't expect the prone form laying in the open pod to answer her though a small part of her kept hoping that maybe he'd sit up and look at her and tell that he was alright. It was foolish to hope, but it was all she had.

Barely even a month had passed since Prowl had finally forgiven her and in that time, they had grown a lot closer as friends than ever before. They'd hung out, gone to places like the park or the forest or Dinobot Island, had even spent nights watching movies or documentaries, whatever suited their moods at the time. Jazz and the others had been amazed at the progress made by the two even though they still had their ghosts, and their demons, that haunted them.

Prowl still dealt with the grief of losing his bondmate and sparkling (though it hadn't bothered him as much as it used to) and the shame of his attempted suicide. Sari herself had at first had trouble accepting that she'd taken the life of an unborn as well as her best friend, but with the support of the others, including Prowl, she'd been able to move on and forgive herself.

Now, after everything, after struggling so hard and coming so far, she was dealing with another yet familiar sense of grief. The loss of a friend. The deactivation of Prowl.

In her opinion, it wasn't fair. He'd come so far, tried to move on despite the pain of his spark and live his life like Bumblebee would have wanted him to. He'd even completed his training after so many stellar cycles spent hunting down his master's killer. Where was the proof of that now?

Tears welling once again in her big blue eyes, Sari buried her face in her hands and sobbed her heart out, "Why'd you have to do it?"

"He didn't have to," The solemn tone answered her, a voice normally spoke with such a calm, laid-back attitude, now full of his own personal grief at the death of his friend. Sari looked up to see Jazz in the door way, servos going down to his sides as he made his way over to Sari. The white mech looked down into the open coffin and felt despair lance through his spark to see Prowl, gray and lifeless, "But he did."

"I thought he was over the whole suicide thing!" Sari protested, tears streaming from her eyes and down her cheeks.

"There's a difference between suicide and sacrifice, Sari." Jazz gently chided her though he, too, felt as cheated by Primus as her. They could've found another way; they just hadn't had the time to do so, "He gave up his spark for a reason, Sari. For us. To save us. He wasn't trying to escape a misery we couldn't understand."

"But-"

"Sari," Jazz picked her up, stopping her protests, and held her to his chassis. He allowed her to continue crying and spoke as softly and as comfortingly as he could, "I know it hurts now. You were two were getting along great after you both went through Pit, but you really shouldn't feel too upset for him." The techno-organic looked up from his chassis, eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "Think about it, Sari. He'd been hurtin' for a long time, and I know he was getting better, but there's really nothing we could do to take that hurt away completely. It's something that was always going to bug him."

The red head sighed and looked over the still form again, still half-hoping he'd get up, and they'd all go on with their lives as if nothing had happened. One of Jazz's digits rubbed her back soothingly, and she was grateful for someone to at least try and help her, "Think of it this way, Sari. Prowl's with Bumblebee and their sparkling again. And it's all he's wanted." Jazz offered her a small smile as he continued, "You know they're even putting him next to Bee."

This time, Sari actually smiled and looked up at him, gratefulness shining in her eyes, "Yeah, he'd like that." Seeing that he'd gotten through to her, Jazz set the girl down and turned back to the door.

"Come on. We'll be landing on Cybertron soon." Sari moved to follow him when an idea popped into her mind and she stopped.

"Go on without me, Jazz. I'll be there in a minute." The Elite Guard studied her for a minute then nodded, heading out the door and to the main control room. Sari hopped back on the chair she'd been standing in when Jazz had come to her. Fishing around in her pack, she found the holo-scan she'd kept for the past year. In it, there was another captured memory. It was the first time she'd actually caught Prowl and Bumblebee spending time together off base, in a private part of the park, holding each other as close as they could.

Leaning over the edge of the pod, she placed it carefully under Prowl's folded servos, knowing once they hit Cybertron, they probably wouldn't allow her anywhere near his casket even she was allowed to attend the funeral. Her farewell given, Sari jumped back to the floor and headed for the door, stopping only once to look back and give a sad smile.

"Tell him hi for me, ninjabot."

_88888_

"She's really gonna miss you."

"Yes, but at least she has the others to help her." The two near translucent forms watched the techno-organic leave the room after muttering what apparently was her last words to her former friend. The brighter, yellow figure leaned against the darker, smiling a soft smile that the latter hadn't seen in a long time and had deeply missed. "You have no idea how good it is to see you again, Bumblebee."

"Same here. I've missed you, Prowl." Bumblebee replied, wrapping his arms around the familiar form of his mate. Prowl did the same though they didn't keep the embrace long. Another smaller form, faint with a small spark in middle of its chest, came up to them, soundlessly demanding their attention. Prowl laughed and picked up the little interloper, holding it to his chassis.

"And it's good to meet you, my sparkling." With that, he drew Bumblebee to him again, kissing him for the first time since the day he'd been lost, and held them both close. It wasn't exactly how he pictured them as a family, ghosts in the Well of Allsparks, but they were reunited, and it was good enough for him. He'd waited for what seemed like vorns to see them again, and Prowl wouldn't have traded this for anything in the universe. Not even the chance to live again.

_'I'm where I belong.'_

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Awww. It's not the extremely angsty ending I promised, but it's still kinda sad but fluffy at the same time. I told you all there was a reason it was called Meet You There! *warned you all*

So, this pretty much takes place after the events of Endgame. Yes, Prowl still died. I hate myself. But at least some good came out of it.

As for why the sparkling didn't get much of a description, picture a protoform like Sari's before Professor Sumdac touched it, and now all transparent and ghostly with a small little glowing sphere in its chest, and that's pretty much what I'm trying to get at.

The sparkling didn't even live more than two weeks before Bumblebee was stabbed (at least I think ), so no body, no definite gender for it. So if you want it to be a mech, it's a mech or a femme it's a femme. (I'm still a horrible person aren't I?)


End file.
